I really wanted to like this book, but at only page 29 out of 233, I’ve lost interest.
It’s amateurish writing and story setting that just gives me a bad taste. From the very first line of the story had me thinking. It shouldn’t have me thinking, I should get grabbed by the world and character from the get-go, but it was like the readers were plonked into this scene where we know nothing about the character or what we’re supposed to be looking at. I was left completely blind, which isn’t a good starting point. All we got was ‘a gravel road’…what gravel road? What’s around? What time of day is it? I like my setting to be set up before going into the details of the characters grumbling stomach, because all I saw was a stomach.
Still on the same page, the author’s wording could come off a bit better. For example, when she’s about the crash, to give the speed and action, the words cut have been chopped off and give it a much better rhythm. The way the character thinks is off putting…i doubt anyone would think like that just after crashing her car. See my problem? And I am only on page two.
Then comes the part where the two characters meet for the first time, with “But it’s his eyes that capture me.” – Really? Really now? I mean, you’ve just crashed your car, hurt your shoulder and meet this complete stranger, and this is the first thing that comes to mind…
StIll I pushed on, just to get to her blushing on the next page because the total stranger smiles. I’m kind of getting agitated already.
The author tends to info dump quiet a lot with uneccesary thoughts from the MC, thoughts that wouldn’t necessarily happen at that moment in time, but just for the sake of the reader. On this front, it could do with another round of editing. I’m still only on the second chapter, and the emotions from the MC are over-dramatic, I have a feeling its supposed to get a reaction from the reader but it just too in-your-face and unrealistic to be pulled off.
Another of my pet-peeves is not being told what characters look like, so all I’m left with is a body-shaped person with no features or face. I would like to have some details of the character so I am able to imagine them. Also, one-page chapters? Really? I honestly I picked this up really wanting to read it, and to like a self-published author’s work, but I have to call it quits. Sorry. There was too many things wrong with the first four chapters to keep me reading.