I don’t get anxious. I’ve finally reached that inner-peace where I just don’t worry, because worrying doesn’t help anyone and it makes you suffer WAY more than is needed. Interviews I can do, talking in front of people I can do without even thinking about it.
So I found something that scares me slightly and went for it…
I went in for my first cold script reading. And for the first time in a long time, I got really anxious beforehand. I hate being anxious, because I know it’s only me who’s suffering and nobody else bloody cares what’s going inside your head.
If it wasn’t for a friend being there with me most likely, I would’ve gone home. But because she’s stubborn, she made me go in and do the cold reading.
It was in a Costa cafe, downstairs in a brick-walled dark dungeon-like seating are. It was so dark I could barely make out the lines.
I got paired up with a girl who did the whole acting-school and degree and here I waltz into the place barely having any classes. The closes I came to acting is an extra in a movie video and school drama lessons. So, we run through our lines beforehand and then we go down.
Now, the anxiety has slightly subsided. The people who run are super nice, this other girl is super nice and not saying anything about my bad line-reading and we go down into this dungeon.
All I see is a little red blinking light of a camera.
“Stand over there and go ahead.”
That was all that is said and we read the lines.
I did a script reading, in front of a camera!!
It’s something ticked off my to-do list. Cold Script Reading is now not going to be so daunting to me. It also made me realise how much I LOVE the whole anxious nervousness of auditions. It’s a high without the bloody drugs! I just want to keep doing them now!
The lesson this has thought me? Get the bloody hell out of your comfort-zone!! Even if you need someone [a friend] to keep you outside, then get them! Because the come-down of the anxiety and panic afterwards is so worth it. You feel like you can take on the world!