Goodbye Ireland!

I’m off on my travels today to Amsterdam, and I’m trying not to get upset or think too much.

It may sound weird, but the person I’m going to miss the most is my stupid dog. I know! But, he’s constantly around me, and I go walking every-single-day with him, so it’s going to be a big deal to not have him running around after me and not going out every morning for our walks. Even not having him in the room at night time is going to tough.

I think it’s because my family know I’m going away, and it gives me a break from them, but Bruce doesn’t. I know he’s a stupid dog but I know he’s going to miss me. I’m trying to keep positive with the fact that he’s still at home and not put in the kennels where he doesn’t know anyone. He’ll still be sleeping in my room every night and I can look forward to his big ecstatic welcome when I get home. It’s just going to be hard.

I’m bringing my walking gear with me for Amsterdam, because there is no way I’m going a month without exercising [was going to bring my yoga mat- but space wouldn’t allow it].

My suitcase it on bursting point, I haven’t tried to close it yet. I have WAY too many tops! Here’s a list of what I can remember is in my suitcase:

  • About 20 [it could be 15-20, I can’t remember] tops.
  • 3 jeans [1 I’m wearing on the plane],
  • 2 shorts
  • Walking Gear
  • 1 dress
  • 1 trousers
  • A swimsuit
  • Blouses
  • Black slacks
  • 6 shoes….3 sandals, 2 doll shoes, runners and high-heels.

it seems okay, right? It is for a month. I have towels and products in there as well, but I skimped on the jewellery as I don’t exactly have room and I can’t bring my expensive things with me.

I’m also leaving behind my leather journal. It means too much to me and if I lost it while I was away I would never be able to forgive myself. I’m going to write everything on my laptop and when I get home, I’m going to transfer it all into the journal.

This is going to be my last post in Ireland. It’s just gone 6am and my flight is going out at 11:30am, so in the next three hours I’ve gotten changed, finished packing and be heading to the airport! I’m not nervous, I’m trying not tot think too hard and just go, or I’ll literally just scare the crap out of myself or burst into tears- it’s only an hour on a plane, I can always come home!

Standing on My Own Two Feet.

And I’m lost… jck There’s days till Amsterdam. I’ve never lived on my own before [not even for a short space of time], let along been away by myself, and I have never moved due to a job before. Leaving me sitting on bedroom floor being completely baffled… I am totally lost at what to pack into my suitcase. I know I need work clothes, like blouses and slacks, and probably doll shoes. I have a few t-shirts from my press and all my Tommy Hilfiger jeans are coming too- along with my leather jacket. My camera and lenses are coming, along with my laptop. Now, other than that….I don’t know what else to pack! I’m staring into the paper bag of clothes that I have and I keep running to the shops to grab a few more items, just to come home and find that I’m missing things… I wish that it was happening in Ireland instead, so I can go through the training and still be at home. It’s this big adventure that I’ve never done before that is scaring the crap out of me. I’ve never even travelled by myself before. anigif_enhanced-buzz-29096-1377283025-12 What if i don’t get along with the people I’m living and working with? It’ll just make me miss home that much more. What if I hate the job? Who will I talk to? My family is always just ‘there’ to talk with and go places. I don’t want to get home-sick. I hope I’m too busy to even miss home. How will I deal with not having Bruce and our walks? I’m going to miss him so much. I’m going to miss waking up and seeing his sleepy head on my bedroom floor. I’m going to miss our long daily walks. How am I going to deal with not having him??! anigif_enhanced-buzz-24544-1377606841-3 I’m trying to keep positive. I really am. I know when I get over there and see everyone for the first time all this anguish and stress will most likely just disappear. I hope it turns into the best experience of my life, but right now I can’t help the feelings I have. It’s like taking a massive leap and not knowing where I’m going to land. But life is about taking chances, whether little or big, right? This is my first big unknown chance by myself. This is me standing on my own two feet… And I’m scared shitless.