It’s finally my favourite time of the year…Autumn!! Where I can wear comfy jumpers, boots and get back drinking hot chocolate with cold fingers!!
The month is already looking to be a busy one, the plans so far are:
Write 15,000 words on two novels [30,000 words in total]. These are completely separate form one another and from any books I’ve written so far. I’m really looking forward to writing them.
Re-edit the beginning of my finished novel, and send it off to five publishers/agents by the 30th of this Month. This is going to be tough- I haven’t received feedback on what to change about the beginning from previous agents or publishers. Just that I should keep trying.
Getting back into my smoothie/juice diet and being healthy again.
I went dress shopping yesterday for the day after my sister’s wedding. There’s a BBQ, and I wanted to get a dress because I don’t wear dresses and it’s an excuse to wear one.
Oh… I know now why I don’t wear them.
I tried on at least 20 in 3 hours over nearly 10 shops. They ranged in price from €20 – €200. Some designer, some not.
Not a single one suited me. I felt horrible afterwards, I thought I was okay with my weight, but now I want to lose more weight. I’m a size 10 [US 8] in a dress, and I’m not exactly lumpy, but I do have hips and a larger-than-average chest [34FF]. As I drove home from, I honestly hated being a woman.
I want to be girly, and wear bright clothes, show off my stomach and get pretty dresses the fit me, but this is why I avoid shopping as much as possible and wear baggy and dark clothes. I hate my body, and I hate my body more than ever now.
At the start of 2015, I remember weighing myself in at over 13.5st. I am now 11.8st.
Since getting my dress measured I have lost 2.5′ off my hips and 2′ off my waist.
Exercising and eating healthy is addictive. You feel great when you do your squats, go for your walk, do your leg lifts or whatever, and you feel your muscles hurting and cramping up, but you keep going because its working and the more your work at it the better the results and that’s the cycle you get hooked on. The more your muscles hurt the harder you want to train, and that marathon-lenght walk turns into your morning routine. You constantly try to outdo yourself; go for longer…do more…go faster.
The days I can’t go for a walk, I can be found randomly around the house with my mat doing lunges or planks or lying on the sofa doing my leg lifts. I have never gotten hooked on exercising. It’s has literally become my drug.
I have this mental picture in my head of what I want my body to look like. It’s a slow progress but I’m getting there and I’m slowly seeing the body I once loved and sweating has become the best feeling in the world, feeling the trickle roll down my spine is no longer revolting, but makes me feel alive.